A Necessary Part of Life
By Troy R.
I’ve dealt with incontinence because of structural damage to my bladder as a result of physical and sexual abuse as a toddler. My parents almost had to put me back in diapers because I would wet the bed regularly. Finally, by the time I got into junior high school I started staying dry at night. That lasted until early adulthood and then I started needing the adult diapers at night because of the PTSD that I was dealing with from the abuse, which caused nightmares - and then the overactive bladder (OAB) started kicking during the day. I was using belted undergarments until the guards for men were developed.
I’ve had almost every test possible done on my bladder multiple times. I’ve come to find it is structural damage to the bladder that causes incomplete emptying of the bladder, which acts like OAB and is treated with the same meds. When the problems started back up as an adult, I had just gotten married to my wife and I was embarrassed at times about needing the diapers and stuff. My wife was very supportive of me and helped me find the best deals on diapers, pull-ups and other supplies. There was twice when I had outpatient surgery that she ended up having to change me. That was humiliating for me and her, but she did it because she loved me.
Life rolled along and I got to the point where I was down to occasional use of diapers, but always needed at least the guard for men. Then in August of 2021 my wife passed away, and due to the grief and trauma my bladder went completely out of control. I’ve been in pull-ups during the day and diapers or overnight pull-ups at night ever since and there is nothing my urologist can do but give it time. That has been for almost two years now. The nightmares from the PTSD have ceased here lately, and I’m hoping to get back where I only need a guard for men during the day and a pull-up at night.
Don’t buy cheap diapers, pads, or pull-ups. You get what you pay for. Use a barrier cream to protect your skin in that area. Trying to keep that area clean, dry and protected can prevent skin irritation. I’m now wondering what any possible future lady friend would say about my situation. It does concern me whether or not a woman is going to want to be with a man who has to use diapers. But I look at diapers and related supplies the same way I look at my glasses - a necessary part of life. Diapers and other medical supplies are just tools to help live our lives. Have a great day.